Navigating Relationships: A Therapist’s Perspective
Relationships—whether romantic, familial, or friendships—are the core of our emotional well-being. As a therapist, I’ve seen firsthand how they can bring us immense joy and, at times, deep frustration. The tricky part is that relationships don’t come with a manual, and often, we're left learning as we go. But here’s the good news: with a little bit of reflection and intention, we can all grow in our relationships and create healthier, more fulfilling connections.
The Power of Communication
One of the most common things I see in therapy is the need for better communication. So often, we think we’re expressing ourselves clearly, but the other person hears something entirely different. It’s normal! We all have different filters based on our upbringing, experiences, and even our mood that day.
If you find yourself in a tough spot with someone, try this: pause, breathe, and ask them how they feel. Listen—not to respond, but to understand. Real communication is about hearing the other person, even when their perspective is different from yours.
Boundaries Are Key
Setting boundaries is another cornerstone of healthy relationships. So many people I work with feel guilty for setting limits with loved ones. But boundaries are not about shutting people out; they’re about creating space for respect. When you communicate your needs clearly, you’re allowing your relationships to thrive because there’s less room for resentment to build up.
If you struggle with saying no, start small. Practice in low-stakes situations, like setting a boundary around your time or space. With time, it’ll get easier to implement these in more challenging relationships.
Letting Go of Control
We all want to be understood, loved, and valued, but we can’t control how others show up. I’ve had many clients tell me, “If only they would just…” The reality is, we can’t change others; we can only work on ourselves. What happens when you release the need to control someone else’s behavior and instead focus on how you respond? That shift can be a game-changer.
In relationships, it’s easy to get caught up in wanting others to meet our expectations, but sometimes, what we need is acceptance and adaptation. Ask yourself, “How can I shift my perspective or actions to improve this relationship?”
Self-Love = Relationship Love
It may sound cliché, but it’s true: the relationship you have with yourself directly impacts all other relationships. If you’re not taking care of your own emotional needs, it’s easy to become overwhelmed, frustrated, or drained in your interactions with others.
Make time for yourself. Develop self-compassion. When you’re emotionally grounded and balanced, you’ll show up in your relationships from a place of strength, not desperation or need.
Wrapping It Up
Relationships are complex and ever-changing, but they’re also one of life’s most beautiful experiences. Whether you're navigating tough conversations or just trying to better understand your partner, friend, or family member, remember that growth takes time. Be patient with yourself and others.
At the end of the day, relationships are about connection, growth, and shared experiences. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up authentically. So, take a breath, lean in, and embrace the messiness of relationships—you’re in good company.